we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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