this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
