Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
