I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
