just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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