I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
