i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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