I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
