We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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