Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize