Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
