Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
