you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
