Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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