i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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