I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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