You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
