I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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