shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize