Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
