So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
