Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize