hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
