Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
