Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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