She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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