Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
