I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize