Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize