drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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