was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
