Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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