Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
