ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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