I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
