Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
