Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
