I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize