Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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