just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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