dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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