I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
