Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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