dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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