so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
