Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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