what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize