the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
