yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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