from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
What did we do last night that was yellow?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
