Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
