I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sext me about skeletons
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
