He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
