Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My feet surprised me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
